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In Between Spaces

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It is June 20th, 2016 and I find myself stepping down a sterile hallway in fluffy socks, the rubber non-slip grips sticking slightly to the floor. It's quiet, except for the metallic sound of the IV rack being rolled along next to me. I had just turned to my nervous parents, held up two fingers, said "peace out," and left them behind. The nurse commented how awesome she thought that was, that she'd never heard anyone say that before. I told her it was the hippie in me. That's the truth. I didn't think summer was going to be this way. I knew something was up with my body, but I rationalized it was mid-life, hormonal changes, stress, burn-out from teaching so long. The delay in addressing my symptoms led to an eggplant-sized, fast-growing mass in my pelvis...not conducive to riding a bike. I've been with my much loved doctor for almost 20 years, through pregnancies, births, miscarriages, post-divorce (and all the birth control and STD testing conversatio
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Gratitude.

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How interesting. I came to visit my old blog site, and the date of my last post was exactly 2 years ago. Exactly. I guess I turn to writing mostly in times of transition. That needs to stop. I know this. We'll see how that goes! I'm in one of those times, and I'm also in a reminiscent mood. I'm thinking back over 10 years of teaching and this journey I've been on and how I want to shape the next phase. I remember starting this blog in 2008, when I had to search for other indoor cycling blogs to follow. My intention was to share my music and thoughts on teaching, not the technical side, but the emotional side, the stories that motivate me to hop on the instructor bike and those that keep clients coming to class.  Here's my very first post: So, I've been teaching Spinning classes for a few years now, and often have these moments during the ride, after or before that make me think, question and want to share. I'm hoping to create this space for th
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Birthday Blues 2013

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Let's get real personal.  My birthday is next week and I'm just not into it.  I usually don't have this issue, but this year, I'm struggling.  It's not even a milestone, it's another number mixed in with all the other numbers that have come before.  It's just another trip around the sun.  However, I'm overwhelmed with all that is happening in my life. Processing much of it requires a cool-down, but I can't get to the cool down and I end up spinning my wheels in the perpetual motion of going nowhere.  Yes, that pun is intended. I've always thought of blogging as a narcissistic hobby, so I try to reserve this space for things not too personal.  It started as a place to share my music and schedule for those who asked and wanted to follow me around. Then, for some reason, people seemed to like what I have to say.  I don't do it much and when I do, I like the focus to be there  and not  here .  So, when I'm traveling a rough road, I
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Stripped

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Ever been obsessed with a playlist?  Sometimes it happens to me.  It's happening now.  I'll admit it, there are many nights when I'm scrambling to put together music for the next morning's class or recycling an old ride. Because I only teach at one studio, and am blessed to have clients who take more than one of my classes a week, I try to keep it fresh, and can not get away with frequently repeating playlists and profiles. Other times, I'm prepared in advance and have the time to completely absorb the music and purpose of the class. This is one of those times. When I was approached about doing an all acoustic ryde, I immediately said "yes," and then felt a little regret.  It was not the kind of "I shouldn't have made out with that guy in my tequila-induced bliss" regret, just a little reservation about making it work.   In an indoor cycling class, there is just something about a driving bass beat that you can FEEL in your body...surrend
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Energy

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I was looking through the archives of my music library and came across the song " Energy " by the Apples in Stereo, which I used to use as a warm-up for class.  I think about (and feel) energy all the time.  All.the.time.  It's been this way since I was a child.  I guess I'm one of those fine-tuned Pisces who has a permanent antenna.  This creates the need for me to crawl into a cave every so often, to turn down the volume of the world.  It's been a journey for me to try to understand and work with it.  I used to hate it, often wishing that I wasn't so sensitive.  Then, a mentor and friend offered me another perspective and I began to look at it as a gift, as a way to work positively in the world instead of viewing it as a weakness or burden. I basically live a yin/yang kind of life.  In the past, when people asked me what I "do," I used to struggle with the answer, primarily because I didn't even know how to reconcile it within myself.  In
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What's on My Mind

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Seriously.  My posts have been pretty serious lately.  A few months ago, I read (and shared on facebook) the following:   Inner Monologue of a Spin Class Student .  It made me laugh, remembering the days of being a student and, now, re-visiting that perspective as an instructor.  So, I was bored (a fleeting feeling that must be grabbed when it arrives) and decided to give it my own twist.  I offer my advance apologies if anyone has already done it, if I offend anyone, or it just sucks. Also I'm not looking for any responses from my students (please).  I'm just looking to lighten it up a bit and hopefully elicit a few hundred smiles.  Welcome 2013.  I hope we'll be friends. Inner Monologue of an Indoor Cycling Instructor  Me: Yup, I'm gonna' kick this class' ass.  I wonder how many bikes will be filled.  Last week's numbers were pretty good.  Why isn't anyone here yet?  Is there something going on with the kids?  Is it camp visiting weekend?  Do I
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A Long December

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  S o, I've been shoulder-deep in a few of my favorite things this holiday season.  No, I don't mean in the Julie Andrews, "raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens..." kind of way.  While I can completely see myself spinning on a gorgeous green hillside somewhere, you already know the type of "spinning" I'm talking about. I'm one of those people who struggles through the pre-holiday madness, who only begins to see the beauty of the season somewhere around 11:59 pm on December 24th.  I'll spare you the internet dirty laundry, but let's just say "Long December" by the Counting Crows (remember that one) was on repeat as my theme song for the month, more than once. I'm not exaggerating when I say the lyrics marked the margins of my graduate school notebooks in 1996.  That year was only to be outdone by December 2003 and a milder version again in 2008. Yeah, I pretty much approach the whole month with a slight PTSD that only
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